Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I need water and some morals
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize