You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
