My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
