He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize