with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
