if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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