If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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