yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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