dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
