Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
