Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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