So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
