If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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