We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize