At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
