new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
