i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize