I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
