508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I am puke
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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