so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize
