Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
