So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my sisters under your porch take her home
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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