4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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