...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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