No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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