dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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