why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize