I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
this beer tastes like vomit already
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
