You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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