The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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