Porn is love you can see.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Randomize
