Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
