i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
