I wish I could punch you in the face.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
