I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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