mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
