i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
