How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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