this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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