I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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