Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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