this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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