I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
