Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
