A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
