OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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