Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
