I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
