So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
