Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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