Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
