yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
