I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
