He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
