do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In other news, I just burned my penis
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I pour the whiskey from now on
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize