im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize