Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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