She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
