just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
