we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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