You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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