I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
