The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
