My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
