We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Welp...herpes.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
