He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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