Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
