There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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