Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i dont even know how to be here
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
