He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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