ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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